dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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