after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
