I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
