just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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