after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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