We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He felt like a one man threesome
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
