True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
