i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They took my balls.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
