so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
