I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
