Already got asked if we're dating
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
