Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
