Your face is a jimmy john
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
