Nicole vs. Life
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
