I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
