i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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