My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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