I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
