She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
