If i come over, it means nothing
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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