I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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