The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
