Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
