Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
