i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
