i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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