Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

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(619): View more from California

our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.

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(714): View more from California

Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.

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(419): View more from Ohio

How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.

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(435): View more from Utah

some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"

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(216): View more from Ohio

Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?

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