i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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