in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
