I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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