shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
