hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
