Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
