how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
