Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We are all done wearing pants today
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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