we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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