dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
id be glad to
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
