We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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