sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
