maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You dont lie about slip and slides
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
