i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
wow bdsm is so cute
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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