that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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