Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
