After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
