Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
