It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
