You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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