dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
