I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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