hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
