You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
