using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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