Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
