Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
